It's February 5th. I've been alive for nearly 21 years. I've never felt so old.
That having been said, I feel as though it's crazy how quickly time seems to be passing. I went to sleep some Mondays in January and would wake up on Friday morning. It was nutty. I am starting to believe that one of two things are happening:
1) I'm getting senile.
2) I'm beginning to lose my conception of a time based system.
Frighteningly there's a final option that could be taking place.
3) Both of the above.
I know I'm not getting senile because I don't stand on my porch in my skivvies screaming at kids for stepping on my ungroomed yard. I can be sure that I losing my conception of a time based system. I don't worry about time anymore. It's just not an issue. I spend hours sitting in a semi-circle of wing backed chairs with my friends without realizing it's the wee hours of the morning. I should be concerned. Yet a little piece of me is finally relieved.
I've been waiting years for this. I lost my watch, almost on purpose, and haven't looked back. Sure, when I'm sitting in class I watch the clock religiously praying to the gods that I can just get out. I find that in recreation terms I adore the concept of not watching the clock. I spend my time wasting it.
I think that the reason for all this concern and foresightedness is that January went by so quickly. I realized on the 31st that 2010 was here with a vengeance. I had been alive for little more then two decades and suddenly time was just speeding right by. I have to say that, while I should be angry, I kind of dig it.
Guess I realize the fear that some people feel toward turning thirty and then sixty. Sounds exhilarating to me.
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